So Far, So Good

The catchphrase of one of my fave lecturers and, I think, very appropriate to sum up how things are going.

Got through Week One of Term Two fairly unscathed.  I mean, there was the small matter of one of my seminars being timetabled in a completely stupid, difficult to get to room; in a building miles from anywhere.  But, aforementioned lecturer, Sing, who must have actual magical powers, only went and got the seminar moved to the perfect spot.  I know all this sounds really trivial and, frankly, boring, but when you're in a wheelchair, or in fact have any form of mobility issue, this kinda stuff is Really Important.  It's all very well to say that timetabling is done by computer, and that the room is accessible, so that's all right then.  But it's not actually, thanks; one still has to get to the room, trekking miles across a hilly campus, going out of your way to avoid all the numerous building works.  In The Rain.  Some people just don't get it, and computers certainly don't; when I found out that a bit of software was responsible for my timetable, I knew I was screwed.

Big it up for Dr Sing though, Man Is A Legend - though, not The Legend.  He's amazing is Sing, not only are his sessios just so brilliant, and informative, and clear - you'd think all these would be givens at MA-level; you'd be wrong - but he is just So Darned Nice!  Though, not in the way that South is So Darned Nice, you get me?!  Example: Sing knows I'm only on campus on days that I have seminars/lectures, which means I have a limited time to borrow required DVDs from the campus library, watch them at home, and then return then, all whilst trying to avoid hefty fines, and disapproving looks.  Sing also knows how bloody crap (my words, not his, don't think I've ever heard him swear actually...) the library is at keeping their shelves stocked.  They either only have one copy of each film which, for a group of eight Film Post-grads with no scheduled screenings, is completely stupid, or they have Region One DVDS, which is fine, except we live in the UK.  So what does Sing do?  Offers to lend me his copies of all of the required films, two weeks in advance of each seminar, so that I have plenty of time to watch and return them.  Brilliant, it really is the little things that make a big difference... isn't that from a TV ad??

Maybe I should've titled this post 'Ode to Sing', but it is all about me (!) and, so far, I am good.  Have only got through the first week, and I do have my first 'mentoring' (counselling) session tomorrow, which I'm a teensy bit nervous about.  Never had 'therapy' before, though I'm sure I should've done.  Several times.  Thus I've no idea what to expect.  Do counsellors really use the much-clichéd 'and how does that make you feel?'?  Dunno, but I guess I'll find out tomorrow.  Will let you know.

Seriously, I am a bit worried.  Been feeling so much more positive, and calm at the moment, what if talking brings it (whatever 'it' is) all back to the surface?  I feel I want to talk, and I'm ready, else I'd totally be bailing out, yet I worry that dragging up all those bad feelings will start me off again; I haven't cried for siz weeks tomorrow!  Not a monumental record I know, but for someone who spent their entire last three weeks of term either in tears or on the verge, and who cries at everything anyway, it's pretty good going. Apart from anything else, I've got a seminar straight after, and don't want to turn up for that a gibbering, snotty mess.

I worry that if I let go, I'll fall apart.

BW xxx